Religion & Spirituality

Gita Jayanti Special : A fraud motivational guru recites Gita

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Aayush Tiwari –

“Gita in Re- action”

( Inspired by Vivek Bindra’s Gita in action series)

Inspired by true events.

In a truly bizarre turn of events, the annual Gita anniversary in 2023 took an unexpected detour into the world of dubious motivation as a fraud “motivational speaker” graced the stage to recite the crux of the Gita. Little did the unsuspecting audience know that they were about to witness a mind-blowing spectacle of insipid wisdom and questionable intentions.

The anticipation in the air was electric as the self-proclaimed “Enlightenment Incarnate,” swathed in shimmering robes adorned with fake gems, took center stage. With his perfectly coiffed hair and polished veneer, he exuded charisma almost as artificial as his words. The crowd, desperate for a dose of inspiration, eagerly awaited the spiritual awakening that was about to unfold.

With a theatrical flourish of his arms, the fake guru raised his voice to the heavens and began his performance.

“Ladies and gentlemen, seekers of success o business, prepare to have your minds blown as I reveal the crux of the Gita. Are you ready? Are you absolutely, positively ready?!” he declared, his voice booming with hollow authority.

The audience responded with a mix of enthusiasm and apprehension, their skeptical antennas slowly twitching to life.

He continued, “The essence of the Gita can be summed up in four magical words: ‘Dream it, Manifest it!'” ( Kalp – vriksha)

Gasps of confusion ricocheted throughout the audience, but the fake guru paid them no heed. He plunged further into his spiritual charade.

“Behold! The universe is nothing but a vast cosmic vending machine, waiting for you to insert your dreams and desires. The Gita teaches us that if you simply believe, visualize, and manifest your desires, the universe will bow down to your whims and grant you everything you desire. Instant gratification is the key to divine deliverance!”

The crowd, now torn between amusement and disbelief, watched in befuddlement. The once-hopeful expressions on their faces transformed into a colorful mixture of incredulity and self-doubt.

“As you ascend the ladder of success,” the fake guru proclaimed, “remember that gratitude is essential. Thank the universe for every material possession, whether it’s the latest sports car, a tropical vacation, or even a brand new set of designer yoga pants. The Gita tells us that a wealth of possessions is the true sign of spiritual enlightenment!”

By now, the audience had become a swirling vortex of laughter, unsure whether to take this bizarre spectacle seriously or consider it an elaborate prank.

With a grand sweeping gesture, the fake guru concluded, “My followers, remember the divine words of the Gita: ‘Fake it till you make it!’ Yes, my dear seekers, if you pretend to be enlightened, if you mimic success, and if you mimic happiness, eventually it will become your reality. Isn’t that just mind-blowing?”

Then came a bombardment of questiona from the audience that were like the daisy cutter bomb. This time the audience, unfortunately was not a blind fanatic mob but a gathering of most brilliant scholars equipped with the synergy of modern science and the vedanta.

What were the questions will be disclosed in the follow up of this blog. In the mean time we declate a contest to share with us the mist logical questions that might have fallen like a bombshell over this speaker. As usual the rewards to the winners willl vary from Electic Guitars to Glass Chess Boards.

As the final absurdity of his speech reverberated through the hall, the audience erupted into raucous laughter and applause, finally realizing the farcical nature of this supposed spiritual guide. They departed the event, relieved to have escaped the clutches of faux motivation and armed with a renewed appreciation for genuine teachings.

Thus, the Gita anniversary of 2024 left an indelible mark on the annals of history, reminding us all of the dangers of putting blind faith in charismatic frauds. And as the fake guru’s puzzling recitation of the Gita’s crux faded into infamy, the audience continued their quest for genuine wisdom, vowing to approach spiritual guidance with a discerning eye and a healthy dose of satire.

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One Comment

  1. * “Yatha pinde tathaa bramhande, yatha bramhande tatha pinde”, law of attraction does work, but not in the way these speakers preach for their own vested interests.

    Concept of kalpvrikksh included.

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